Happy Girl!!

Well I apologize in advance that you have to hear me say the same thing again and again, but it was what got a smile out of her pre-video. It's also a little ironic b/c other than 30 mins surrounding this video she was pretty grumpy today... Nonetheless, we've got smiles!!!

Click on the pic below to watch the video.

Lillian - 1 Month

Lillian is 1 month old as of March 12th. It's crazy to me that so many days have passed since her arrival although at times in the first three weeks, nights in particular, seemed never ending. She's still so much a newborn but in so many other ways she is so different than when we brought her home - in many ways for the fun-ner (not better, just fun-ner).

Her first month of life...

• She smiled so much in her sleep and at times did something of a laugh. Now at one month she is very smiley during her wake times (especially mornings)... she's still not clearly smiling at anything Michael and I are doing, but we're getting close! And as I sing silly songs or talk about her dirty britches during diaper changes and she gives me a big gummy grin I know that genuine 'you-made-me-smile' smile is coming!

Lillian Sleeping Smile Week 1

Lillian Sleeping Smile Week 2

Lillian Sleeping Smile Week 3

• She has been all over the map with sleeping, but whereas we started with days and nights totally switched we now have some semblance of a routine - with night usually for sleeping. Hallelujah!

Lillian wakimg up in her 'newborn napper' - stretching. Easily one of my favorite pictures of her!

• Since her second or third day of life she has been raising her head up as she lay on our chests but now in tummy time she moves her head shakily from one side to the other sometimes holding it up for a second or two in the middle to look 'straight ahead'.



• Just in the last week her newborn clothes are pulling at the snaps but her 0-3 Month onesies are still great. At our one week appt they estimated she'd grown an inch (!) so I can't wait to see where she is at our two month appt in April.
  


• Everyone comments on how tiny she looks and how she looks smaller than her pictures but I think that's just because she's small relative to babies you're used to seeing out and about. Her double chin and rolls make her look like a chunker in pics.



• Though she still look like my baby pictures some when people pick one of us that she looks like, they always say Michael. Sometimes we get that she looks like both of us b/c we (Michael and I) favor each other.



• Lillian looooves to stretch - when we unswaddle her, when she wakes up, when she eats, when we pull her out of her car seat, and the list goes on!

Stretching week 1 at the hospital.

Stretching week 4.




• Right now she takes a bottle a day with breast milk as our way of sneaking in her icky multi-vitamin (we mix it in and it makes a glorious muddy color leading Michael to refer to this as the 'dookie-water'.... fortunately she's too small for this nickname to ruin it for her! ha) and she's working on keeping the paci in on her own and getting better.


• Hucklebear is getting adjusted and spends Lillian's floor time supervising or resting nearby. He seemed a little depressed at first, but I think he's getting adjusted... extra walks (with L in the stroller) and extra loving from daddy are helping!

Lillian you are a wonderous exhauting new addition to our lives! As daddy said holding you at the hospital and shaking his head " IfI already love her this much, can you imagine how much more we're going to love her?"

Sweet Noises

One of the things we're looking forward to over the next couple of weeks are more smiles (and responsive smiles) and the 'talking', coos and other happy noises. We bought a play mat for Lillian last week and although she's not currently interested in the animals and rings overhead, she loves that mirror! This is just the beginning...

Click on the image below to watch the video.

Support

I read something the other day that had suggestions for single moms of new babies. One of the suggestions was to become indispensable at work and one of the ways it suggested doing that was taking classes at a community college. Really? REALLY? Because if I'm able to shower before noon I feel like I should win a prize!!!

Anyone who has a new baby without love and support from family has a tough road to travel... this road is tough enough with it! We are so fortunate to have all the love, help and support we do during this time.

Family

This little girl has so many people that love her. Uncles and Aunts and one very sweet little cousin. A great grandad, a Ninny and Opa (great-grandparents), a Nana and Papa, an Ami and a grandpa... I cannot say enough what a blessing that is and what a blessing it was to have my mom here week 1 and Cathy (Michael's mom) here week 2! I was able to catch up on sleep, shower, and get out of the house some to feel like a human being. Week 3 Lillian's Ninny (great-grandmother) came up with my mom and more help ensued. With a surgery (thank you c-section) and a fussy sleepless baby, our family is a tremendous support to us now just as they were all pregnancy! It has been so fun watching Lillian with our family... and it's only going to get better as she becomes more interactive.

Lillian with her Ami (my mom)

Lillian with her proud Papa (Michael's dad)

Lillian with her Nana (Michael's mom)Lillian with her Ninny (my grandma, her great-grandma)
Friends
We have also been blessed with a tremendous bunch of friends during this time! Friends that visited us at the hospital, brought us meals, have offered to watch this little one while we sleep or go out to dinner, those that came from far away to visit (some who even brought my Ninny up with them!) and friends with advice! It seems like such a silly thing to love, but for me Facebook was very important in L's first month. Our friends near and far - especially the mommies, some as new as I am - have been such a tremendous encouragement to me as I swim through floods of ideas for getting our baby to sleep and/or stop crying, etc. I have no idea what I'm doing, let's face it, and that support system makes me feel like that's normal!

Husband

Oh Michael the dad. Where do I begin? I had no doubts about this support system! It's no surprise to me that Michael cheered me on through labor, reassured me through the c-section, stayed with me every night at the hospital on an uncomfortable sleeper sofa, and is always asking "what can I do?" now that we're home with our sweet daughter. It's no surprise ... but that doesn't make me any less thankful!

Sleep

Who needs sleep?

Well you're never gonna get it

Who needs sleep?

Tell me what's that for

Who needs sleep?

You're happy with what you get

There's a guy that's been awake since the 2nd world war.

- Bare Naked Ladies

Today Lillian is 3 weeks and 3 days old. We've had almost 3 weeks of nights at home and let me say... that is not enough to have figured out a sleep routine! Our first night home Lillian stayed awake crying and fussing from the time we tried to go to bed until about 3:45am (at which point I went sobbing into our room and woke up Michael (as well as my mom with the commotion)). Michael assembled the bouncy chair in record time, but as seems to be the protocol with Lillian, as soon as we called in the reinforcements (mom) she went down for the count and slept a good four hour stretch with mom keeping watch while we slept.

The best nights are those where she sleeps between feedings giving me roughly 2 hours of sleep between our time awake. The worst are those where she doesn't go back down and I trouble shoot her issue for so long that the original issue, hunger, resurfaces and I have to start again. Her cries these days start suddenly and are of the fog horn variety where she instantly goes into a full blow wail, red face, tears in the eyes, un-phased by pacifier.

We started out with...the pack and play in our bedroom; swaddling with blankets; a paci in the mouth; bedtime around 10.

We evolved week 2 while Michael's mom, "Nana", was here (L's second week of life)...swaddled with a light blanket under a SwaddleMe 'straight jacket'; Nana stayed up with L after that 9 or 10ish feeding trying to burn off some energy during that wake time cycle; pack and play RIGHT beside our bed; L sleeping in the 'newborn napper' of the pack and play; my hand outside the covers holding a paci in her mouth a majority of the time (enough that I started sleeping in long sleeves because my arm was getting cold).

Week 3 we tried...lighter swaddle with a thin blanket & a heavier blanket on top of that packed around her in the napper; still with the paci; her hands free. This worked well for a few nights... So well I thought I had the magic combination...Then, the fussy evenings began. Come 6 or 7 ish L cannot be consoled. She spent 2 nights screaming bloody murder, hardly sleeping and pushing my paci-holding hand out of the way with her two arms I'd conveniently left free for her.

Currently we're back in the SwaddleMe's; in the newborn napper; earlier to bed with no paci to fuss with at bed time.

As I told Ninny the other day on the phone, nights aren't just a matter of staying up, they're like staying up taking a test of 'what-does-my-baby want'? It's that stress and mental strain that make this so challenging b/c I/we have no clue what I'm/we're doing. We'll continue to play with the formula and in the meantime she's getting older and I can live on nights that she does well, nights we have reinforcements (or nights Michael is my reinforcement), and other sleep when I can get it.

Who needs sleep anyway.... when else would I blog?

A Little Sweet Pea

My mom began this amazing sewing feat before Lillian was born. Each leaf has a family members name underneath it. While Michael's mom was here, she did some documenting!